Today at work I have just moved desks.
Not the most interesting thing in the entire workd but quite fun all the same. I am now sitting in the seat next to where I was, but nearer the rest of my team.

I received another great purchase from ebay lst night. I NES controller mini keyring. I love it. I payed far too much for it but what the heck.

I am going to try and cerb my current spending on ebay and everywhere as I want to save as much money as possiable.

Betty and I have now streamlined our lunch times. We are going to spend 5 minuites consuming the bare minimum to survive, 5 minutes doing things that need to be done and then power walk for the rest of the hour. We are even going to alternate who picks who up so we can both have exercise. I think it is the best plan ever.

I am going to visit Little Lord Fontlaroy next weekend at his summer house in Devon or somewhere near there. I forget where.
I think it should be a blast as Muscle Bitch and Innocent will be there. I have to drive down on my own which will be fun. I hope. I am going to make the best car tape in the world ever before I go. I think ti may take me some time. I should start tonight.

I finished my dramatic book last night and it had a great surprise ending. Then I read The Meat Snatcher Mystery in about 45 minutes. It was actually really fun. Today I started Fag Hag, a book that I brought for all my friends a few christmas' ago. So far it is really funny.

I must do some work now.

Have fun and remember…dust is evil.
Russ.

Good morning,
I am feeling surprisingly well this morning.
Last night I watched Taxi. I loved it and again I saw another song the Tarention stole from a great film.

I have to make sure that all the boys have sorted out their contracts today. If they have not I am not going to be happy.

Tonight is CSI night so I shall be staying in. I have tried to make my change purse out of the NES controller last night and it was only partly successful. I have taken out all the inners and super glued the buttons back on. I have nearly attached a key ring chain but I need the minges( think I was meant to write hinges here, maybe it was subliminal) and a catch to finish it off.

Yesterday I forgot to give Betty her bling, again. I think I will drop it off to her today at lunch time. I am going to finish my book today. I have only three pages to go and I am completely loving it. After that I will be starting The Meat Snatcher Mystery. I think it is going to be highly amousing.

I think I am going to have to cancel on my cousin, the Policewoman as I have to take The Performing Poodle out on Friday night to cheer her up and she is far more important. I couldn't think of anything to do with the Policewoman anyway.
Poodle and I are also going to the carboot on Sunday. I love it.

Well, that’s about it for now. I wonder what happened to the fainty lady?

Have fun and remember…winning Cludo is fun but it does not make you Columbo.

Russ.

Well, I think that this is a first. Something interesting actually happen at lunch and so I have to update you. It’s a double blog day.

I was in Boots the chemist at lunch time with Betty. I was purchasing my obligatory Slimfast and I splashed out on a small bag of cherry tomatoes. Only 19 calories. Amazing.
I was looking for a till without a million people at and and saw one where there was only one lady. Bargain. Then the till girl got up and walked away. Before I has time to complain about how they always seem to leave at the busiest times I noticed a lady passed out on the floor. No dram nothing said or heard but there she was. Was she dead or just passed out. Can you imagian how embarasing it would be to faint in a queue in Boots. What if you were buying laxatives or something.
So everyone went about their business and just stole interested glances at the lady on the floor. The shopgirl had gone to get help so there was nothing I could do. What could I do? In situations like this is just say the wrong thing and laugh a bit. So a few mocking quips later we left and went to M&S.
We must have been in M&S about 7-10 minutes and then walked past Boots again and the fallen lady was still there. Not moving or anything. I wonder if she is dead? Had she paid for her items? Was it the shop girls fault?
Unless she actually did die then all these questions will never be anwsered.

Then I went to the library and got a childrens novel called "The Meat Snatcher Mystery". Just the title amused me greatly. I think I will read it very soon.

Well, that’s about it on the update front.

Have fun and remember…if you pass out in publicduring the day people will stare but ignor you. If you pass out in public during the evening people will just ignor you.

Russ.

Today I finally received the package from the postoffice and yes it was from ebay. I am now the proud owner of an origianl NES controller. I am actually going to change it into small wallet/changepurse. I think it is going to be great. That is my mission for tonight. I will get myself some hinges at lunch so it can actually open and close.

Yesterday I went carbooting again and had a blast. Everyone was busy so I went all on my own. I loved it.
I purchased loads. I got:

A great printign thing. It's like a rubber stamp but you can write what you want on it.

I great pair of 80's mirrored sunglasses

A slection of videos including;
Die Hard 3
Pecker
Serial Mom
The Man Who Cried
Idel Hands
Chopper
Office Space
And 3 more I cant actually remember at this precise moment.

The best thing was that Jonty was there. I loved it and loitered in camera shot as he hade some antiques programme.

Saturday night was…interesting. We went to Tradegy's house and got really blasted as expected and went wild with the hairspray. Betty looked like a 50's housewife on acid. It was amazing. I love Superdrug own brand hairspray. It's like cement in a can.
Then we went into Reading. I was warned on my way into the club that I was too drunk. I actually was. I was a bit of a mess and sat down on my own for about an hour and then some lesbians started to harass me but I could not even move and had to call for assistance. When I say call I actually phoned my friends who were in the same club anout 10 meters away. I eventually got myself together and managed to get up and dance.
I was having a blast until The Irish Devil punched me. This made me bite him. Yes, I bit him. That's how drunk I was. I am led to believe that I drew blood. I reallt don't even give a shit. I hate him so much it's not even funny. I am not going to speak to him ever again.
Betty was a bit of a mess aswell and we both decided to ditch. It was fun until then.

The olds returned from Boston at 7am Sunday morning and they got me some nice short, which was nice.

My eldest cousin, the police lady is coming over this week and I am expected to take her out on Thursday. Where the hell and I going to take her? I have no ideas. I don’t even normally go out on Thursdays. Maybe we should go into reading?

I am going to do some work now.
Have fun and remember…if you sit at your desk staring people will think you are working.

Russ.

Postmen areevil. I had anote telling me that a parcel was to big to fit through my letterbox today. This allegidly happened at 10.am. I was awake at this time and did not hear anyone at the door.I didhear the post fall onto the floor and so I have concluded that they could just not be bothered. The note also said that I could pick up the package in 6hours. What the hell was he doing for six hours.You can not make me belive that he would be working all that time. I think not.
The most annoying thing is that the sorting office, where i was supposed topick it up from shuts at 12:30 and so i now have to wait untill Monday. I want to know what I have received. Now!

ANyway I am ruching around town trying to get everything done before I go out tonight. Two of my friends have already cancelled and another one wantsto but I am not going to let that happen. I know what it is like when people ignor your birthday for their own selfish reason and so I am going to be there.Ihavejust purchased some lame Maidenhead postcards from our herritage centre for Tradgey. I think he will love them in a ironic way. I hope so.

Iam off now because I hate this library on a Saturday. I think I may have to have a look at the book sale though. I know I have far too many books already as I have been boxing them up forthe moveto RUssingham Palace. I have about 400. A bit excessive I think.

Have fun and remember...you reap what you sew. I cant think of a punch line.

RUss.

Well it's Friday again and I have just paid for two items I won on Ebay last night. It is so easy to slip into the routine of just buying stuff all the time when you work in an office.
I am going to keep it under controll though.

As it is Friday it’s the day that Betty and I go for our Business Woman's Lunch. I am quite excited already. I know it is against my diet but I will have soup and a small curry. It will be fine.

I am planning to stay in tonight watch Bo Selecta! And try to sort out my room. I need to start sorting all my belongings for my move to Epsom. I think this will actually take about a million years. I need to get some of those cool fake wood style archive boxes to start putting stuff in.
I am going to be brutal and then have a huge car boot to get rid of all the left ove crap. I love car boots. I think I will go again on Sunday.

I think I will pick up the paper at lunch and then discuss which sales to visit with Betty. We love buying crap.

Tomorrow is the Tradegy's birthday party thing. We are going to a bar in Reading that I have never managed to be controlled in. Last time was terriable. I did unspeakable things on the dance floor that I have no recolection of. I have been bared from there so many times it's not even houmerous.
I think it will be a complete blast.

My personal plan is to get hammered with Betty first at my house and then get picked up in the Big Gay Bus and head off to get even more plastered.
By the end of it I will be so drunk I will look like Stephen Hawkins.
I love it.
The question is…What should I wear? And even more important how should I do my ever growing hair? Decisions are the worst.

Have fun and remember…sleep deprivation makes you do odd things. Don’t try it.

RUss.

I think I was violently sick last night. I am not sure though.
I remember staggering to the toilet last night but the rest is a blur.
Well, at least if I was sick that will make me thinner.
I did only have one Slimfast to eat yesterday but I think I drank an excessive amount of vodka.

I had so much fun though. I feel that today is going to be a bit of a mission to complete.
I know that I am going to be so tired by lunch time.
My head is starting to throb a little and I have no pain killers on me. I think I will have to go to the canteen and get some in a bit. Can you belive that the canteen sells pain killers. They also sell deoderant and stuff like that. Its all a bit random if you ask me but ever so handy.

Today I will mostly be working hard and trying to finish my book. I really want to finish it before my Business Womans Lunch tomorrow at 1pm. Also I need to sort out the contract for the house. That is top priority.

I was really excited about seeing Eric last night but he did not even show. That sucks.
I think I was an annoying mess on the drive home after making that girl I do not know take me. She did however refuse the money I offered her.

Have fun and remember…don’t try and sharpen a pencil with your thumb nail it really hurts.

Russ.

Elephant was so great last night. I went with Betty but she did not love it nearly as much as I did. It was 100 times better on a big screen and I noticed loads more things that I had the first few times I watched it. As soon as it is avaliable I am going to buy it.

Whilst in the library reading my increasingly dramatic book, I remembered that I had not visited their book sale in ages so after reading my daily recomended dose I wondered over and purchased the following books:

Best Small Budget Promotions
Media & Censorship
Understanding The Universe - Stephen Hawkins
A Look at Life in the Eighties.

All are reasy to read childrens books and have the best pictures.
I am going to make t-shirts with Stephen Hawkins on. I am trying to think of great headlines to go with the image.

"at least I am really clever!"

"You can run away but this chair can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds"

"Hookers love me"

"My cock still works"

"I am on first name terms with Mr Stanner"

I need to think of some better ones. If you can think of any please feel free to email me with them.

I am going to have a complete tidy tonight and sort out the contract for Russingham Palace.
I have been quite productive this week and intend to continue with this.
I am still on my diet and hope I can fall into a routine with it soon.

Have fun and remember..life is short and so is Danny De Vito.
RUss.

Today I shall mostly be working like a dog and not comprehending anything I am doing.

I shall then be reading in the Library and then going to see ELephant at the cinema.

I am on my diet and hoping that I have lost about 5 pounds already.
I dont think I have though.

I am so tired its not funny.

For the last few days I have been playing with all my old Lego. I love it.
At the flee market on Sunday I got a video called Twisted Nerve. I loved it. Its about a mental guy who pretends to be a 6 year old to con people to like him. Then he kills them. It is also where the tune that Darryl Hannah whistles in Kill Bill comes from. It is however way more creepy.

Have fun and remember...Beer and wine you'll feel fine, wine and beer you'll pull a queer.

RUss.

Monday morning.
I am back at work. I was even here on Saturday. I am working my tiny weeny arse off. I am a glutton.

This weekend was a blast.
On Friday I went out drinking with Betty and Not the Mary. It was a ton of fun and we went back to Not the Mary's and danced to all the old songs till 4:30am.
Then I awoke at 7:30am and went to say goodbye to the old's as they went to Boston a bit later.

Then I went to work and came home a couple of hours later and fell aslepp. Luckily I woke up before CSI started.

On Sunday Betty and I went on a car boot frenzy. We started at a flee market in Tyford which was full of great bling then moved on to the Taplow Giant Car Boot. This was not as great as usual because of the weather but I did get some great jeans. They are a bit funny as both front pockets have been cut on the inside so you can have a fiddle. This slightly disturbed me. I am going to sew them back up asap.
Some people are really funny.

Tomorrow Batty and I are going to see Elephant at the cinema. I love it so mcuh. I think it will be loads better on the big screen.

I think we are also going to see a production of Hair on Thursday. There are rumours that there will not be full nudity but that's the only reason anyone goes to see it. Well that is so the reason we are going.

I have loads to learn at work but all the systems are a bit tempremental. I hope I can get it all sorted.

I am off to luch in a mo and today I am starting my mega summer diet. It is going to be hard but I am going to stick to it so well. The rewards will come and be worth it.

Have fun and remember...your old crap is another persons treasure.
RUss.

Today is Friday.
By the end of the day I will have completeted an entire week.
I was at work until 7:74 last night doing overtime. It was actually quite good fun and they supplied us with pizza.

This would have been a lot better if I had not have gone to Pizza Hut at lunch and had all you can eat. I di have 10 slices as well as loads of cherry tomatoes and pasta salad.

I also fell asleep just before BB and missed all the excitement.

I cant remeber if I told you but I have the house in Epsom. I have named it Russinham Palace. I cant wait to move in. I am really overly excited about it.

I have to work now and diecide if I should buy anything off ebay. Desisions are the worst.

Have fun and remeber...the earth is revolving at 9 hundred miles an hour so hold on tight.

RUss.

Hello world,
Well, I sucseeded in my mission last night and got completely hammered. I went to the pub and had loads of jugs of vodka redbull. Then we played the film question game and lost a lot of money. I turned into a complete rule natzi. I was far too drunk to even be playing and my memory skills are no that great at the best of times.

I ended up at I'm The Mary's house watching sex and the city and big brother(which I am totally obsessed with at the4 moment.) I love it so much.

The new Series of Bo Selecta! start on fiday and I am planning a night in just to watch it. Our hunt to get tickets to see it filmed has not worked as its popularity has grown and they are all already allocated.

I am feeling a bit fragile at the moment and can feel myself on a downhill slope. By lunch I will be a state but after a nutrtrious Slimfast I should be fine.

Tonight is the football. Like I even care.

I should hear about the house today. I cant wait and I so hope it is good news. Still keeping thoses fingers crossed for me I hope.

Have fun and remember...drinking 4 litres of water a day is great at improving brain power but makes you piss like a hose.
RUss.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I have started a new diet today. I am doing the 2 slimfast a day routine again as well as light exercise in the mornings and at night.
I want to be thin again. I feel the need to reinvent myself in my new summer enviroment.

I am going out with my ex wife tonight to celerbrate.
This is also a good idea as we will get really pissed and chat for hours.
THis my seem like breaking my diet already but actually it is more helpfull as I wont have dinner and I will forget how hungry I am. As long as the calling for a Subway does not get to me.
Did you know that the Subway in Maidenhead which is oppersite our local pub is open until midnight. What a annoying thing. At least if it was closed we could stand outside in a drunken stuper and curse the fact that it was closed but still be thin.

I am waiting a call to find out if we have got the house in Epsom. It is a palace. I am really scared that we will not be allowed it as we are students but I wont know until I get the call from the lovly Suzie.

My new job is going well and I am sorted now and can get on with my work. A think I will miss the fact that i cant trawl the internet all day and email my friends constantly but altogether this is a good thing. I like what I am doing and so far it is going quite well.
We have well air conditioned offices and can listen to music all day whilst we work. I am currently listening to Daft Punk - Digital Love. Not my favourite but still a bit of a tune.
I think the best song on this album - Discovery - is Harder, Better, faster, Stronger. I love it so much. It is next so I am a bit excited.

Well that is all I have to say for now so bye.

Have fun and remember...a white van man tan is not pretty. Get a left hand drive for the weekends.

RUss.

I have just arrived at work, wich is a lot of fun and not much work so far. I feel this will change very soon, anyway we are talkign about going into space adn one of my work buddies just said:
"I dont see the attraction myself, its all dark and there are no bars!"
I can see her point.

Today I am off to Epsom to try and sort out this damn house. I have been trying to get this one particular house for about 2 weeks now and yesterday I arranged to view it and then was told that I could not as it was not for students. Why was I not told this when I first asked about it? I told them it was for students but still they did not nitify me. So, me being me I kicked off and the estate agent agreed to talk to the landlord and see if we can swing it. I mentioned that I was a mature student and not some maniac who was going to trash the place. So I am off there this afternoon to try and get it together.
All the boys are going to be there, aledgedly cleaning the old house. I will believe this when i see it.

I fell asleep at 7pm last night and woke at 10pm finished The Dwarves Of Death by Johnathan Coe and then went back to sleep by 11pm. It was a great book and really easy to read. A bit of a strange story but with some great London location description. I thought it was great.

Have fun and remember...when you dream in a manga style there must be something wrong!

RUss.

Hello everyone.
I have syarted my new job and so far it is a complete blast.
I am working with a friend of mine I have not seen in ages.

This weekend i went house hunting again but the estate agents are being really unhelpful. Then I went to see The Performing Poodle in Serbiton. We had a lovley picnic in the park and watched very small children play tennis and a baby dog scare a toddler. Fun was had by all.

On saturday night I went out with an old pal from way back. I got really hammered and we played pool. It was great to catch up.

I watched My Little Eye and Secretary last night. Respectfully, a good idea but not that well executed. Great camera work and nice style of cinematography. Secretary was great. Really nice story and nice handling of serious issues. A little disapointed with the lack of actuall S & M but had a great ending. Altogether a great watch.

This week I shall mostly be working, house hunting and dieting. I am having a complet identity crisis at the moment and dont think I even have an identity to speak of. I need a hair cut but the thought of loosing my mullet is too distressing to contemplate. I also need to sort out my wardrobe as I have no nice clothes. I feel completely abandoned and lost after leaving college. I have no real hook on the world at the moment and slipping into an office job has left me feeling even more lost. In some respects it is easy but it maked me feel like a complete identy kit person.
I am sure I will break my mental chains but it may take some time.
Wish me luck.

Have fun and remember...pay the congestion charge when you are there and you will avoid a huge charge.

Russ

Well, today is the day that I am meant to meet my friendster.
I am quite nervous but I am sure I will get over it.

I have been in Maidenhead today looking for a job. Sofar I have only given my CV to a couple of temp agencies. I really need a job and soon.
I dont want to have to cut my hair or wear sensiable shoes so I think that my options are slightly limited. We will have to wait and see.

I am having lunch with the lovely Betty and Lee Lee. I think it will be fun.
Again wish me luck.

Have fun and remember...even if you only eat roses your shit will still stink.

Hello everyone,
Today I am in Epsom house hunting and returninng a really overdue library book. I know I am going to have a huge charge that I cant pay. Oh well, life goes on.

I am going to Graduate Fashion Week tomorrow and I am going to meet my friendster. Hopefully it should be a blast.

I have dicieded that this summer and next year I am going to be more of a slut. Hopefully a lot more. I want to be the biggest whore in Epsom. This is due to that fact that I used to have a really bad reputation in Maidenhead and now I have a virginal rep in Epsom. This is not a good thing. I want to be the house whore. I am going to do everything within my power to get this going as soon as possiable. Wish me luck.

Summer is in full fluw now and I have one really tanned arm. This is due to the fact that I have been driving around loads and the sun gets my right are all the time. I think I look a bit like a white van man. Again, Oh well.

Does anyone now how to pay the congestion charge? I went through the zone last week and forgot about it and now I cant work out how to pay thw charge before it sky rockets. If you have any ideas please let me know.

Well I am off to speak to estate agents now. What joy!

Have fun and remember...a hamster is not for life as it will only live about 2 years.
RUss.

Well, I am now into my summer holiday and with no job or work experiance as yet I am enjoying the sun.

Breaking news...
I have met someone on friendster and I am going to meet them on Wednesday.
Random? Yes. Scary? Yes, yes.
I hope it is fun and I dont end up loosing a kidney and being flushed down a toilet.

Still dont have a house for next year yet but that can wait a bit.

Hope the world is treating all my readers well.
Have fun and remember...juping through rose bushed WILL cut your legs.

RUss.

Hello everyone.
Its me again. I am in Epsom today and have been looking at a house that I want to move into. It is a little pricey but I think I am going to be able to swing it.

Norway has gone back to Norway and the invite for me to visit is still open. I have just found a profile about Norway on the internet and now realise why there are so many conquests.

So it's the summer and I am going to look for a job tomorrow. I want to work in the video shop in town. I think that it will be great and a realy good research for my film future.

It was Ellie's birthday today and she did manage to call me after ignoring me all week. I think she is all hung up on her new boyfriend. I always seem to slip out of the social radar when she has a fuck.

I am bored now.
See you later.

Have fun and remember...love them and leave them.