I am a super commuter.

Last night after I had finished work I popped around to say “hi” to the olds as my Gran and Aunt are staying at the moment. Brief chatting ensued and then I left.
I drove back to Epsom and then the super domesticity began.
I made a lasagne from scratch. However I did not make the pasta sheets but I did do everything else. I was very proud of myself and it was actually really pleasant.
Nigella I am not but then who want to be a smug posh bitch who drones on about sexy food? Not me. Then I cleaned the kitchen and finally to reward myself I drank a bottle of red wine all to myself. I really could get used to this 9-5 commuter domestic lifestyle. Drunk by 10 and passed out by midnight just to get up at 6 and start all over again. Brilliant.

Kelly Osborne says “Don’t touch me while I’m sleeping babe” but today I would take anything I could get. I am so horny it’s not even funny. Not even 10AM and I am a total hornbag already. What am I going to do with myself for the next seven hours?

One thing I shall not be doing is looking at ebay. Although this is a fountain of brilliant items to purchase I just cant do it. I know I will find something I want to buy and it will be super cheap and then I will be on that slippery slope to bankruptcy again.
Even writing this is making me want to have a quick browse but I just cant do it to myself.

At this second in time I have absolutely nothing to do at all so I have been watching a David Hasselhoff power point presentation. 75 of the best pictures of the Hoff. Does it get any better than this? I love him so much. I think I might even base my summer look on him. Good 80’s/ Bad 80’s? That’s the question.

Shit I am so bored. Oh I have just remembered something to do. Great a secret mission all of my own. Wish me luck.

Have fun and remember…if it look like an apple, smells like an apple, don’t eat it anyway its an apple and they are super gross.

Love
Russ.

Kath and baby Kim 

That's unusual! 

Well it's 11am Wednesday morning...
the middle of the week is here and I have no money, no cigies and nothing to do.

How did this happen again? I though getting a job would be the end to all my problems but so far that has not been the case.
I get paid soon so that will be a great thing.

I have load of things I want to talk about but cant be bothered to type that much so I shall just list them all and you can guess what I would say about the.

Subjects I have an opinion on today.

The death of the jumper (case study: 80's tv presenters)
Where are all the good celebrities?
My lack of motiviation
Cleaning
The Death of the tie(Jeremy Paxman you are wrong)
Jesus and Dust
Festival hair
How many lies would you tell to get a job?

Well that all of them at the moment.
I am in the process of writting my 100 favourite things and when it is done I shall post.

The one thing I do want to talk about is the most amazing tele show ever.
Kath & Kim
Set in an Australian suberb Kath Day-Knight and her daughter Kim Nee Day have the ups and downs of any family... That is if your overbearing mother constantly comments on your weight and tries to persuade you to get back with your astranged husband.
Their everyday life is shared with Sharon, an indoor cricket obsessed ginger with a non-existant lovelife. Together they have many a mini adventure. Like the night they go out for Kath's Hen night and Kath wakes up on someones lawn after having her drink spiked and dancing with trannies all night. Or when Sharon stalks Kims husban to find out if he is having an affair only to mistake Kim for his new dog Kujo. Hillarious, these amazing storylines teamed with confused slang make this a brilliant watch.

CHeck it out.

Well have fun and remember...never say never.

Love
Russ.

It Glows...

Well, last night I had my Stylist do my hair. Today I have a great cut that is spot on and a bright yellow colour. Not as great.
My hair is so bright it is like a strip light. I think I can hear the buzzing nise coming from it. It has grown on me already though. Boom, boom. Ha ha.

I had a blast of a weekend with it being Big G's birthday as well as No.1 Steps Fan's. Much hillarity ensued.

I would write about it all but it would take ages and I would start remembering things I dont want to. You can read more about it on No. 1's Blog.

I am off to Live AIDS on Saturday. I hope its fun. I am quite looking forward to going and standing in a field with 150,000 people watching rubbish bands play 3 songs each. The real qustion in my mind is with the entire thing being broadcast accross the world what sould I wear? My outfit could in all possiability be seen by 4 billion people, if all the people in the 3rd world went out and get a tele to watch it. I am thinking something very colourful. But I think you can probably see the glow from my new do from space. I am a wonder of the world.

Today I am mostly working and listening to old tv theme tunes. Check them out at http://tv.cream.org . Its great.

I have too many things to do now so

have fun and remeber...live your life be free.
Love
Russ.

Good morning everyone,
And what a glorious morning it is. The sun is shining and the birds are singing and have been since stupid o'clock this morning those bastards.
I have been abandoned by most of the people at work in preferance for Glastonbury. Well I'm not quite as cool as sitting in a field with a million other people and getting cheggered. But I dont wish I was there.

I have been getting my priorities in order this week and I have one more major one to sort out and I am going to do this today. If I dont sort this one then everything will crumble around my ears and I cant let that happen.

I have been listening to the new Kelly Osbourne album and I love it. Not only is that a song about date rape but she say retard. All this and a huge amount of 80's electro you cant go wrong. The lyrics are outstanding and the sound is poptastic. All around I have to say "Well done fatty."

I have heard people bitching about haw everyone is jumping on this 80's electro bandwaggon just to sell record but I dont think that is a bad thing in all cases.
If done correctly then you can use the influence and make killer records that will have dance floors packed everywhere.
However one band who have been touted as the new electro 80's inspired kings are just not living up to my expectations. The Bravey with their self titled album (ohh, how original The Bravery by The Bravey, that must have taken them ages) boundced into our radar with a great song and amazing hair but have sorely dissapointed me with their lack-luster album. The only redeeming feature is a song called Public Service Announcment. The lyrics "Stop drop and roll your on fire" amuse and amaze me. Simply coupled with a poppy summer tune make for a fun filled song. However this is the only good thing on the album. Sad but true. I just think new bands are trying hard enough. They have a good song, get snapped up by a record company and then are rushed into putting out an album to cash in on the hype of the moment. This is just churning out tons of new bands that will not last and lining the pocets of the fat cats.

Well, thats my rant for this morning done. I would just like to say bands beware of shooting too high too fast.

I dont have much else I want to say except that Kath and Kim is on this evening so you should all be sitting at home watching it. Enjoy.

Have fun and remember...if its worth fighting for then do it with pride.

Love
RUss.

I love them more and more each day. 

How could you ever for get them. 

Morning all and Sunderland.

Being home is fun. I am actually still loving it. We get channel 5 here and everything.

Today I would like to talk to you about "Cat Women From The Moon".
This is an act that will blow you away. Entertainment for all the family, if you dont mind you small children being subjected to erotic tap dancing and lude stories of debauchery.
All you intelligent people out there will remmber the stunning Shakespear's Sister, well "Cat Women From The Moon" is a inspired by/tribute band that have taken inspiration from their songs and image and run with it.
Not only will they be paying a selection of their most loved songs but there will be recitals of peotry, dirty monologues, comedy and tap dancing. All together a great night out.
From the depths of the ninties Shakesspear's Sister will be reborn as the insiration of the moment. With such an eclectic list of songs how could this venture be anything other than amazingly breathtaking.

Gigs will be comencing sometime over the summer, I shall keep you apdated.
And the final question you are all asking "Who will this due consist of?" Well of course it's going to be the stunning Betty and me. I bet you cant wait.
I know I cant. I am sewing sequins onto a catsuit as we speak. Amazing.

Well thats all I want to say today so enjoy yourself.

Have fun and remeber...one day our names will be obselete and replaced with lottery numbers.
Love
RUss.

I just love to dance. 

Well, to day is the second day of being back at the amazing 3.
Although I was early this morning I am completely under dressed in shorts and a t, reek of booze and have not had time to brush my teeth. Oh the life of a temp.

Last night I went to Betty's after work and we made tacos and drank red wine followed by a big bottle of vodka. I had a blast we drank, watched the utterly rubbish final of Celebrity Love Island, played scrabble (which I won by a single point) then watch Brittany Spears first and only movie so far Cross roads finished off with the amazimg Valley of the dolls. Altogether a great night.

I made a great list of things I wanted to talk about here, last night and obviously I have completely forgotten to pick it up. I am rubbish already.
I will try and remember some of the great things I wanted to discuss with you.

Firstly, dating.
Now I have been on dates with Betty and Alabama who are currently living together and they were both very memorable.
Betty was first and strangly our first date was her first date of all time. I dont recall knowing this at the time but I tried my best for it to be spectacular and the best date ever.
With this in mind we went to the cinema to watch Wes Craven's New Nightmare. An absolute classic of a film with an oscar winning storyline and amazing charector portrayal by Robert England as Freddy Kruger. The highlicht of the film comes in the final act when Freddy attacks the helpless heroin with his giant, elongated tounge. Perfection.
My first date with Alabama was in many ways similar. She super wanted to go and see Titanic and so her Mother gave me some money and off we went. Bizzar or what? It is a tiny bit better the fact that at the time I was working for her but still having to pay a boy to take you on a date is embarassing to say the least.
Now I knew that I was not going to like Titanic the moment I saw a preview, this mushy stuff really does not do it for me in the slightest and love on a boat was just going to grate on me like a hair coat.
I was unmoved by the film and wanted more death and carnage but what did I expect, really!
The amusing thing is that last night Alabama told me that during the film she though to herself "Who would I rather be sitting next to right now Russell or Leo DeCapri Sun?" and the anwser was "Russell". Brilliant. At least Im not no popsicle sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Anyway what was Fatty McWinslet doing? If she was a few pounds lighter then Leo would have filled on that raft thing with her and then he would not have died. See there is a reason to not be a fat arsed bitch.
So that was the date.
Although these date a linked in many ways the best and most showing I feel is that I watched both films in the same screen in the cinema. With Betty we sat in the back row and with Alabama we sat in the front row. How amusing and telling.

Even though I have a million other things I want to talk about now I am in the swing of things I dont want to bore you all with a ridiculously long blog.
So I will just mention one more thing.

Last night at Betty's I found an old used Quicksilver paper bag containing a multitude of half used make-up. Now this was not her provisions for a day at work but a gift lovingly given to her by a dear friend. It turns out that it had belonged to his sister and mother and they didn't want the items anymore. Can you even believe it? Third had make up as a birthday present. Its not even like Betty is a waste not want not type of girl, except with booze she is a complete Clinique queen with the entire range adorning her bathroom. It just does not even scan in my head how a friend of over a decade can think that worn out avon lipstick and greening silvereek necklaces are an acceptable present. The mind boggles but I had the best laugh in ages about the entire thing. It hurt my stomach and I got hick ups. Brilliant.

Well thats deffinately enough for now so...

Have fun and remember...fags can be so mean.
Love
RUss.

So I am back in sunny Maidenhead and even though I have only been here for seven and a half hours it seem that nothing has changed at all. This is what I love and hate about small town living. You always have the option of just stepping back into the same place that you left, it almost seems that you can step back into the same moment that you laft as well. This is great but really a bit scarey.
This morning as I drove to work I felt this enormouse weight lifted off me as I became nearer and nearer to my small town destination. The waves of ruralness washed me clean. How long this feeling will last I have no idea but for the moment I am letting it just happen.

Whilst walking from my car this morning I attempted to look in my rear view mirror to check someone out, then I realised that I am not actually a car and I dont have a rear view mirror. It was a strange moment to say the least.

I had lunch with Betty today, just like old times a foot long tuna subway on a bench by the library talking about relationships. Really, nothing has changed.
Again I loved it. After work I am going around to her pad for wine and to teach her to tap dance. I think this should be a total blast. I just hope I can remember the time-steps.

As I am back staying at "The Old's Place" I will be slepping in a tiny room that is going to be sweltering. I just know I am going to get no sleep at all. Its a huge change from the palacial Russingham Palace, which currently sits empty and unloved but super clean from my hard work and the fact that we have our quarterly inspection today. I reallu hope it all goes well or we are deep in to doo doo.

One thing I had promised myself before I came back here was to completely avoid the lure of EBay but I know as soon as I finish this I am going to have a sneaky peak for a few great little things that I cant possiably live without. Oh well. Its only money I dont have.

Well, Im back with a bang and will continue tomorrow and every working day after that so...

Have fun and remember...love is fleeting hold on to it.
Love
RUss.

So again I am going to try and start this thing up.

I completely feel like I am in a time warp today.
I have gone back to 3 and today is my first day.
I have been completely house bound for the last few weeks and have gone stir crazy. When I say crazy I mean it. I have been really self destructive and stupid in the last couple of day and just had to get out of Epsom before I lost it in a worse way.

So here I am. Back in the same office with the same people doing the same thing as last year. Bazaar is not the word( and by the look of that neither is that.)
Nothing has really changed around here at all. And I think I love it.