Well today is Friday. WHere has week gone.
Most of it has been used to work and I have now haned in the work and finished my presentation.
An 11.00 am presentation after the night I had was very hars and I am still feeling the effects now. My head hurts mummy.

The Muscle Bitch Disco was such a blast. WIth Kurt the German eighties electro singer and a jugler who was really bad it was set to be great from the begining.

I have booked my ticket to Norwayy but now I am not sure if I want to go. After snoging him on the dance floor and arguing a lot he has turned out to be a bit of a dick. I am not sure if it is just his arrogance or the fact he was hitting on my best friend that annoys me the most.

I cant type, speak or see very well at the moment. Oh well. Driving is a mission.

I also met someone really nice last night who may have prospects. From Essex, actually from the Colchester Institute. Random small world.

I am bored now and want to go watch DIagnosis Murder.

Have fun and remember...always do sobre what you said you'd do drunk.
Cheers for that one Performing Poodle.

Having just writtern a 1000 word essay including photos and a cover in under an hour I am feeling pretty pumped. I did not even read it through and so dont have a clue if it even reads correctly.
Any who.
It is now wednesday and I have another deadline tomorrow. I have been working my hind legs off and still have loads to do. It must all be finished by tomorrow or I can not go to the Muscle Bitch Disco. I think it is going to be a blast. Apparently there is going to be a fire eater and some jugglers. Random or what.

Life is hectic but fun. I am loving it.

My phone is still turned on and I have been able to speak to my friends when they call. I am keeping my end of the bargain up.

Question of the day... How do you tell an unpopular housemate that he is not invited to move in with you next semester?
I feel this is an age old problem and many people have faced it before. I am just feeeling lucky that this time it is not me. In the future I would hope that if I was hated in my house I would hate the people I was living with as well and the parting would be mutual.

I am in a creative mood and think I am going to go back to the house and try out some outfits for the disco. I want to look chic and slightly mental. I think this is the look I pull of most convincingly.

I literacy skill are drying up so I shall go now.

Have fun and remember... What came first the egg or the chicken? Who gives a shit they're both dead when you eat them.

Today I woke at 10:40 in a bed. Not my bed but neither the less I was alone again.

Monday night at the student union was somehow another amazing night.
I was a little bit cheggered to say the least.
Who would have guessed that you could win champagne and easter eggs just from dancing to S Club.

Today's question... Why do girls feel the need to but in to their friends social disagreements?
Having spent a large proportion of last night trying to explain to housemates why I do not feel the need to make up with stupid immature girls that blank me in class and can only contact me via friendster and then only yo tell me that I have changed and not for the better.
Me being me said that life was too short and that I do not have time for stupid fat slags who are old enough to know better.

On a happier note I am so hung over I could literally be sick now on this keyboard.

I have to write an essay today on bead head hair products. The joys of university.

I have just been to Super Oxfam and got some really nice 80's nikes for 99p. I feel a lot better.

Have fun and remeber... better late that pregnant.

Today i awoke at 6:30 am and was wide awake, bright and cheery.
I love Mondays. OK, I dont really but I have a ton of work to do and it is my last week of uni this term. I feel the need to end the term on a good grade. The question is how much work do I have to do to get a good grade?

I am going to have a "kick about" in the park after college today an will probably miss Neighbours as usual. After that I shall be drinking excessivly.
I love vodka
best of all the main line spirits
I love vodka
Its my friend.

Not an overly exciting weekend. Did not go to Norway as I got myself far to mashed up to even attend the party or even get home.
Oh well.

After some discusion with The Gypsie Twins I have dicided on a plan of action.
Instead of being nice and trying to be polite about this I am just going to force it to come to me. I usually have a lot more sucess when I make people do things. This is my plan. I have even gone so far as to script it.
Here we go:

Me: YOU ARE COMING OUT FOR A DRINK WITH ME TONIGHT!
Norway: OK.

I think it will go well.

Relationships are not always the most fun. Some can be very confusing and draining.
It's great when you meet someone and you think they are cool and interesting, then you realise they are actuall a bit of a pushover and only listen to opera and Coldplay. Can you imagain anything worse? Maybe if you added The Lighthouse Family to the list?

However bad a relationship is going this is not an excuse to forget that you are a wonderful person and should be credited as such by everyone including yourself. Don't get all depressed and introvered. Buy a new vintage dress, get a new hair do or have a party. Just make sure you are doing it all for you.

Mission of the week...

This week I shall mostly be making sure that my phone is turned on all the time. I am fed up of missing calls. Actually I am not really that fed up but I am a bit annoyed that so many people keep on at me because they can't reach me. I am on the interweb you know. Just send me a message. Also my PA ( known as Colin to his friends) is getting tennis elbow from writting all the messages.

Tonight I am hoping for a beautiful collision with Norway. Wish me luck, actually pray for me. I may work better.

IF anyone is interested I am going to my new friend Dominatrix's party night in Epsom on thursday. It is called Muscle Bitch Disco. It a kind of eighties electro pop explosion. I think it will be the best fun ever. If you would like to come along let me know. I have my phone on now and for the rest of the week.

Have fun and remember... you are what you eat so don't eat shit.

I managed to sleep in a bed last night. Unfortunately I was alone.

I think it is so funny when you know someone who has a "fuck buddy" and then they fall for them and start to get all jelous. It amuses me greatly.

Tonight is the night when we should be confirming tickets to Norway. Fingers crossed.

Again I am sleep deprivated and have not eaten. I do just have to say that I am looking really thin. Thank god for the Tracker bar.

Rainy days and damp cigerettes. Neither are fun.

Watched "The Hunted" last night. Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro. Promising cast very odd film. Many hand to hand fight scenes with no dialogue just grunting. Not bad but deffinitely strange. Lots of artirial sprays and stabbings. To sum up lots of silence and violence.

I have to find spoons and giraffs now.

Remember... Chesney Hawks was the one and only not Keanu Reeves.

Tired is not even the word. I have not eaten in days and have vertually been sleeping rough.
I have been working all day like a dog. However it has all been really productive.
I am pleased with myself.
It's not over yet though!

My new favourite place is Homebase. It has the most useful and random things on the planet.
B & Q is second and Wicks is third.

They are best to visit on a Sunday with all the home improvers. Watch out for the bickering couples.

Norway is not completely lost. I am going to try and get a flight this Friday.

Is it morally and ethically wrong to ditch you depressed, mental friend on her birthday just because you may have the slimest chance of fighting crime?

I think not. She would probably do the same to me.

Thought of the day...

Thin is popular no matter what they say.

Worst thing in the world.

No. 1 - Sleeping in a room with no curtains.

Remeber... We all want to be rich but only some of us want to be Shane Ritchie.

Cowbot boots, vodka jelly and vynal flooring do not mix.
The image of Bambi on ice was brought to many peoples mind as I staggered around a house party this week.

Grilled Halumi is again one of my favourite things and a perfect accumpliment to vodka fulled dance offs.

Steve Irwin is a legend. The legend that is the Ir.

O J Fish rule and help with a hangover as well as all you can eat pizza and free refils of Sprite.

Dance my pretty, dance!

This weeks disturbing things.

No. 1 - Babies genitalia on nappie adverts.
With the amount of publicity around "child molesters" and paedophiles at the moment I find it increasingly worrying that advertisers choose to show these little mites in all the glory to the fucked up viewing public.
Get a grip.

No. 2 - College lecturers that cry.
I have always been led to belive that to be a teacher was just because you were no good at your chosen subject but to be a lecturer was the height of intelligent cool. However they should not be allowed to make a public disgrace of themselves by breaking down and crying infront of a group of cynical, hate filled students. Hillarity insued.

No. 3 - The death of The Face
Rumour has it that this trusty staple of out corner shop shelves is on its last legs. I however spend a lot of time cusing this mag down and frankly enjoy doing it. Even though I do belive it ran out of steam a long time ago I dont think I would like to see it dissappear for good. That would it be replaced with?

I LOVE HORSES? I think it could be great.

Enjoy and remember... No matter how hard you try you'll never be as short as Bobby Davro.

After a l0ng and enjoyable weekend I am about to take a group of unsuspecting teenegaers on a tour of my Uni. Ha hahahahahah. The fools!
I think this will be fun.

The Performing Poodle had her birthday this weekend. It was a blast.

Bus drivers deserve to die.
BUT IT SAYS SO ON THE FRONT?

I'm not mooving.

On a mission to Norway with any luck.

Playboy Mansion themed parties are the only thing on my mind at the moment.

The things we do to make others jelous of us!

Norway? I lovely country or a waste of my valuable time? I have not diecided yet but I hope the former.
I will not fuck this one up.

Who am I kidding. This will go tits up like the rest of them. Damage limitation is the only thing I can hope for and possiably some crime fighting.
I will settle for detective work.

Keep your chin up and remember...
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT SO DONT EAT SHIT.